Wednesday, May 19, 2010
My husband told me that my post yesterday did not really acknowledge all of my accomplishments since having the band. I have lost about 35lbs so far since the pre-surgery diet. I also did not gain a bunch of weight when I essentially had no band at all! I am down a size in pants and shirts and bras! ( Always exciting when the girls get a little smaller…) Now, I am also trying to master listening to my own body, when it comes to hunger, stress, anger, excitement, etc. I don’t always succeed but I feel like I am making progress.
I plan on going to get a new tattoo on Saturday night. “Ebb” and “Flow” on my wrists. I need a physical reminder that just like the tide, life has it ups and downs and one just needs to learn to go with it.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I have been having a tough time with this Lap band. I always thought that I would get it and have NO trouble at all….. WRONG!
Here is what I have been through since January…
I went to NYC for my uncle’s funeral. I really didn’t know him that well but I went for my grandmother. On the way to NYC (we were driving from NC), I had a panic attack because we KEPT getting lost, thanks to Google Directions….. It should have taken 11-12 hours but ended up taking almost 19 hours! On that trip I also found out some horrible things about my biological father and what he was like before he passed away. I allowed these things to get to me and that weekend the pain started.
I was having these awful chest pains! It had nothing to do with eating but was overwhelming and really took my breath away! Because I had recently gotten my first fill, I went to see my bariatric surgeon. He was concerned that these pains were somehow caused by my band and he did a slight un-fill. When this didn’t help he took more out and then did a complete un-fill!! He was really thorough and looked at my stomach through EGD and looked at my gallbladder. When he ruled everything out, we determined that it was esophageal spasms caused by ANXIETY! All this trouble because I don’t know how to relax?!?!? REALLY?!?!?
I spent February to May completely EMPTY! It was almost like my band did not exist…. I floated from 262-272 for that WHOLE time! How frustrating! I finally got a fill, we decided that I need to seek out some help to deal with the anxiety and I feel that having a band that does nothing was not helping with that. I currently have 5 CCs in my 10CC band. I feel SOME restriction but am looking forward to getting another fill in a month.
I need to do better on the exercise front. I have signed up to do the Avon walk and don’t have as much time left as I would like to prepare! The walk is in October and I GOTTA get started now!I will try to do better about posting! I have to do this for myself!